I used to spend so much time hating on my body. I’d count every single calorie that went into my body. I’d obsess over the scale. I’d exercise daily and not to have fun and I definitely wasn’t enjoying it, it was a MUST in order to look the way I thought I should. Though I never did look the way I wanted. This lasted throughout high school and came about after I started taking the birth control pill.
Before I started taking “the pill”, I was thin and beautiful – I was 14. When I turned 15, I got on the pill to regulate my periods. They weren’t even that crazy to begin with, I just had no idea how to track them and didn’t want to be surprised when they came. It was just the thing to do. Needless to say, I gained about 20-30 pounds over the next couple of years, going from around 115 to 145.
I got so much bullying from the boys and girls in my school about being “fat”. This did nothing for my self-esteem, let me tell you. From then on until my late 20’s, I struggled with my weight, even though it did settle to 130-135 after I got off the pill but it was still never good enough.
Once I got serious with my yoga practice, I started seeing my body as something capable, strong and flexible. Something that could do so much of what was asked of it and then some. I started to naturally want to eat more foods that would support it and let go of things that didn’t support it or make it feel good. When you drink a six or, who am I kidding, a twelve pack of beer and smoke a pack of cigarettes the night before, you aren’t going to get as much out of your yoga practice had you skipped them and had spent that time preparing a healthy meal instead.
For a long time, I balanced out my bad habits with as many good habits as possible. I yo-yo’d for years, drinking and smoking for a couple months then quitting for a whole month to only go back to it after all that hard work of quitting. It was a vicious cycle.
But the thing about yoga is that if you stay with it, even when all the shit comes up that you don’t want to look at, it WILL change your life. It WILL lead to other things that will also change your life. It made me open my eyes to the importance of daily meditation, of connecting to my Intuition of surrendering to Source.
Nowadays, I love my body and what it’s capable of. Sure, there are days when I see a new wrinkle or grey hair and think, “What the Fuck is THAT?” But I use my yogic breathing, realize it’s all a part of the journey, tell myself I’m beautiful and move on with my day. My weight stays pretty much even and I never really worry about what I eat. Of course, I eat as much of a yogic diet as possible but sure, there are times when I eat a whole pint of ice cream. In bed. Albeit Halo Top. Praise the Lord for Halo Top ice cream!
However, no matter how much yoga you do or how long you meditate, if you’re not taking the time nor discipline to change the self-loathing thoughts going through your mind at any time throughout the day, you will get nowhere. You MUST change those thoughts. This, just like yoga, is a practice. Every time a negative thought pops into your head, immediately tell it to get the F out of here and think of at least one thing about your body you are grateful for today. This could be something as simple as breathing or being able to smell the fresh rain, taste the sweetness of strawberries, etc. There are a lot of things our bodies do for us that we never even think twice about.
So start giving it some props!
The key is to stick with this. When you do, your life will look completely different really quickly.
An Ode to Your Body
Every moment you have the choice to choose a good feeling thought or a bad feeling thought.
A lot of these bad feeling thoughts may be directed at your body for not being thin enough, pretty enough, young enough or capable enough. The list goes on.
Our poor bodies. They do so much for us yet how do we treat them in return?
How often do you show appreciation for your body?
After all, it just:
Breathes for us
Laughs for us
Feels pleasure for us
Hears music for us
Cries for us
Births human beings or ideas for us
Carries us through this thing called life.
It’s the only thing with us for our entire journey this time around.
It is your best friend.
It’s time to stop wondering what your body “should” be doing for you and start thinking about what you can do for it.
If you’re ready to start loving your body more through yoga and mindset, please join our FREE, live ONLINE yoga classes where you can practice in the sacred space of your home and within a sacred circle of women.
Blessed be dear Goddess!